How to... create crap

How to create your own Reality TV show...I think to a certain degree we all feel as if we could star in our own Reality TV show. We all think we are entertaining in some way and have moments that are "made for TV".  In my opinion there are a few key ingredients needed to have a successful Reality TV show that people would want to watch. Id say first and foremost you need to follow the format of sex... sex sells, and the more you have of it the better your show will be. You need a hott guy or a hott girl (or both) to prance around provocatively to catch the viewers attention. Next you will need drama, tons of drama. You need to have fights, disagreements, tons of miscommunications and trash talking. Add a dose of betrayal and you will get the fiery scandal you are looking for. You also need cloudy moral judgment, it tends to help if one of the characters in your show is arrested or does drugs. After that you need a match to ignite it all, and that match is alcohol. Alcohol is the fuel that starts and sustains the inferno that is Reality TV shows. You have to make sure all of the characters on your show are wasted... most, if not all of the time.  If you follow these simple steps even you can be a Reality TV connoisseur.